Selections from the Dictionary of Funny Fencing Phrases

(from Rapiernet, posted by Jocelyn Devereaux)

ABSTAIN: French for "so sorry, I wasn't paying attention"
ADVANCE: Forward motion made by male fencers toward female fencers, usually resulting in a slap across the face.
ATTACK IN PREPARATION: When you sneak up and hit your opponent while they're still putting on their gear.
BALLESTRA: A male ballerina
BARRAGE: Shelling your opponent with cannon fire from several miles away
BEAT: How you feel after fencing
CHANGE OF ENGAGEMENT: Selecting a new fiancee
CORPS-A-CORPSE: French for "full contact fencing"
CROISE: A French pastry
DEROBEMENT: The houdini like motions required to escape fencing jackets
DISENGAGE: Getting rid of your fiancee, usually by fencing too much
EN GARDE: French for "On Guard", a paranoid state in which the fencer believes everyone is out to kill him/her
FEINT: what you do after fencing too long, in full uniform, on a hot summer day. Also known as heat stroke.
FEEBLE: What old fencers usually become.
FLECHE: What fencers do it in.
FORTE: What permanent en garde fencers live in
ONE-TWO: Basic fencing dance step, followed by Cha-Cha-Cha.
PASSE: Close maneuver made by male fencers toward female fencers, always resulting in the male fencer being Maced.
POMMEL: Beating your opponent senseless with the hilt of your sword.
REDOUBLEMENT: Pause during the bout for the fencer to take another breath mint (In preparation for an ADVANCE or a PASSE)